Give The Kids a Show
by xenathefanwarrior
Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermionie, and Neville are in this years "Fun Day": a talent show. Really it's just experimental.. So read it! :D R&R and Added Encore 1st Song is "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance, 2nd is "Blow" by Ke ha. Warning: Borderline M.
1. Let the fun begin

**_Note: a couple things before you read. One: I own no characters, settings, or the song. Baaaallls, I know.. AND I'm on a sugar high so really this is 99% crackfic :o JUDGE BUT NOT TOO HARD._**  
><strong><em><br>Song: Teenagers by My Chemical Romance_**

3 minutes till they were on, and the Golden Trio (plus Neville)were practically vomiting with nerves. The brilliant new idea that the headmaster had chosen for the yearly Fun Day this year, was a Talent show. The quartet was the last band up, and scared out of their minds, seeing as more than half of the other contestants got "booed" off stage.

2 minutes left, and Neville had broken the drum stick so hard off a corner of the couch backstage that it had broken. "Thank Merlin for magic, right guys?" he said sheepishly, ceasing the efforts to calm himself down.

1 minute to stage and they were ready. Game faces on, they trudged up the steps, onto the exceptionally large stage.

"Thank Merlin there's a large stage.." Hermionie mumbled, the rest of the band nodding vigorously at her statement, knowing how hard she rocked out.Everyone took their places, Neville on drums, Hermionie on guitar, Ron on bass, and Harry at the mike.

Looking out to the large Great Hall packed with students, Harry started speaking in the boldest voice he could muster at that time.

"Well hell-oo Hogwarts! How're we doin' today?" His question got screams from more than half of the female population, pretty much only because he was "The Chosen One"

"And the guys?" He threw back at them, earning cheers from even some of the Slytherins.

"DAMN RIGHT! NOW YOU ALL READY FOR THIS?" Hermionie screamed into her mike, earning screams from the whole hall. Nodding at Neville and Ron, they started the introduction to the song while Harry continued to talk to the large mass of people.

"Well then! This is a cover of a song by a muggle band My Chemical-" his talking was then cut off by the Muggleborn population of Hogwarts, and so he started.

_****_

_**They're gonna clean up your looks**_  
><em><strong> With all the lies in the books<strong>_  
><em><strong> To make a citizen out of you<strong>_  
><em><strong> Because they sleep with a gun<strong>_  
><em><strong> And keep an eye on you, son<strong>_  
><em><strong> So they can watch all the things you do<strong>_

Surprising to some, Mister Potter was quite a good singer, and soon enough he got the girls swooning over his fantastic voice.

_** Because the drugs never work **_  
><em><strong> They're gonna give you a smirk<strong>_  
><em><strong> Cause they got methods<strong>_  
><em><strong> Of keeping you clean<strong>_  
><em><strong> They're gonna rip up your heads<strong>_  
><em><strong> Your aspirations to shreds<strong>_  
><em><strong> Another cog in the murder machine<strong>_

At this point, Hogwarts had started going crazy. Seeing this, Hermionie put the lyrics to the song up on the wall behind her for those who wanted to to sing along.

_** They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me**_  
><em><strong> They could care less as long as someone'll bleed<strong>_  
><em><strong> So darken your clothes<strong>_  
><em><strong> Or strike a violent pose<strong>_  
><em><strong> Maybe they'll leave you alone<strong>_  
><em><strong> But not me<strong>****_

The panel of teachers at the back were absolutely dumbstruck at that the quartet was doing to the usually well-behaved students in front of them. Even the first years were getting in fights to get to the front, and so Dumbledore attempted to stop the music generating from the powerful group of students onstage. This just earned him a few flipped birds and random hexes from the students, causing him to sit back down in defeat._**  
><strong>_  
><em><strong> The boys and girls in the clique<strong>_  
><em><strong> The awful names that they stick <strong>_  
><em><strong> You're never gonna fit in much kid<strong>_  
><em><strong> But if you're troubled and hurt<strong>_  
><em><strong> What you got under your shirt<strong>_  
><em><strong> Will make them pay for the things that they did<strong>_

Now at THIS point, Harry had stripped off his shirt and threw it into the audience, causing the first row of girls to faint, whether from exhaustion or just the fat that Harry was amazingly hot.

_** They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me**_  
><em><strong> They could care less as long as someone'll bleed<strong>_  
><em><strong> So darken your clothes<strong>_  
><em><strong> Or strike a violent pose<strong>_  
><em><strong> Maybe they'll leave you alone<strong>_  
><em><strong> But not me<strong>_

_** Whoa yeah! **_

Neville and Ron started to get a clapping trend going throughout Hogwarts, even in the defeated teachers' panel, minus Dumbledore. This led through the next verse and even through the verse after that.

_** They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me**_  
><em><strong> They could care less as long as someone'll bleed<strong>_  
><em><strong> So darken your clothes<strong>_  
><em><strong> Or strike a violent pose<strong>_  
><em><strong> Maybe they'll leave you alone<strong>_  
><em><strong> But not me<strong>_

_** All together now, **_  
><em><strong> Teenagers scare the living shit out of me<strong>_  
><em><strong> They could care less as long as someone'll bleed<strong>_  
><em><strong> So darken your clothes<strong>_  
><em><strong> Or strike a violent pose<strong>_  
><em><strong> Maybe they'll leave you alone<strong>_  
><em><strong>But not me<strong>_

_** Teenagers scare the living shit out of me**_  
><em><strong> They could care less as long as someone'll bleed<strong>_  
><em><strong> So darken your clothes<strong>_  
><em><strong> Or strike a violent pose<strong>_  
><em><strong> Maybe they'll leave you alone<strong>_  
><em><strong>But not me<strong>_

The quartet ended the song barely clothed and sweaty. This led to an encore, which they enjoyed even more than the previous song.

* * *

><p><strong><em>IT WAS EXPERIMENTAL! :o<em>**

**_So you know what to do.. read and review and such.._**

**_AND I KNOW IT SUCKED xD_**


	2. Encore! Warning: Explict content

**Author's note: Hello again my awesome readers! Again I must stress I don't own the characters, setting, song, etc.. It's just for fun! So don't kill me!  
>Anyway, I hope you like it! Special thanks to <span>You Don't Understand Me<span> for the awesome ideas, too! You're now officially my best friend. :D  
>ON WITH THE SHOW!<br>P.S I'm sorry if I leave houses, teachers, or people out. I'm on a tired high this time, not pepsi! Also excuse any grammatical or spelling errors.. heh.**

CAUTION: MAAJOR SWEARING AND DIRTY THINGS A-HAPPENIN.

_"ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!" _all of Hogwarts screamed after the quartet was finished their song. Harry turned back to the rest of the band, shrugged, and turned back to the mike.

"Alright! Alright! But before we do this, I need a crazy little witch to come up here. She knows who she is!" Harry said, searching the audience for a certain blonde Ravenclaw. Pointing at her, he beckoned to her to come onstage. When she refused, Ron got the group around the younger girl to literally _carry_the poor girl up and onto the large raised platform at the head of the Great Hall. When she got there, she marched to the youngest male Weasley and punched him squarely in the chest, earning a yelped "Luna!". Luna then went to centre stage, punched Harry for good measure, then took the mike and got herself ready.

"Now that I've been dragged up here, you guys are expecting me to sing for you, aren't you?" She said, the excitement lacing her words cancelling out how she's trying to look: bored. When cheers erupted from the mouths of over 200 children, she nodded to herself then had a request: that all 2nd years and under leave the great hall. This caused many sad faces across the front few rows of children, who begrudgingly left the hall after getting an angry sneer from their potions master who in fact actually wanted to see what was so different from their last song that the smaller children had to leave.

After that was over and done with, Luna could get her real crazy on. With Harry and Neville on effects and Hermionie on backup, they were ready.**  
><strong>  
><em>She<em> was ready.

It started with a laugh, and the muggleborns again, went insane.  
><strong><br>Dance.**

It was amazing how, even in the early stages of the song, it was obvious that this version was quite close to the original. Luna even had a sleazy look on. An almost-replica of the original. Even the costume she appeared in after running backstage for literally 5 seconds.

**Back door cracked**  
><strong>We don't need a key<strong>  
><strong>We get in for free<strong>  
><strong>No VIP sleaze<strong>

Snape was dumbfounded at what the young Lovegood could do, and she was still young! He needed to leave the great hall and have a cold- no, a freezing shower. "Thank sweet Merlin for robes.." he muttered while slinking out the back of the hall.

**Drink that Kool-Aid**  
><strong>Follow my lead<strong>  
><strong>Now you're one of us<strong>  
><strong>You're coming with me<strong>

Luna left the stage at this point, hopping around the audience till she got to the back, still singing. She had spotted Snape, and was making an effort to get to him and embarrass the hell out of the teacher that had hated her so much. She knew why he was leaving. It was time that bastard get his ass out of Hogwarts.

**It's time to kill the lights**  
><strong>And shut the DJ down<strong>  
><strong>(This place about to)<strong>  
><strong>Tonight were taking over<strong>  
><strong>No one's getting out<strong>

Snape knew he had been caught before Luna had made it halfway towards him, so he hid his "embarassment" with the quick spell, and met his fate. He was dragged onto the stage by the smaller version of Ke$ha and plastered a sneer onto his face to hide all the emotions he was feeling at that moment.

**This place about to blow**  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to<strong>

"Dance!" Luna shouted, gaining the support of the students wanting to see their most hated teacher make a fool of himself, like he had done to so many of them.  
>"DO IT SIR OR I'LL TELL YOUR DARKEST SECRETS!" Draco Malfoy could be heard yelling from the mosh pit in front of the stage, and to that comment, Snape blanched. Draco Malfoy knew a <em>lot.<br>_So he danced.

**Now what (What)**  
><strong>We're taking control<strong>  
><strong>We get what we want<strong>  
><strong>We do what you don't<strong>

And danced.

**Dirt and glitter**  
><strong>Cover the floor<strong>  
><strong>We're pretty and sick<strong>  
><strong>We're young and we're bored (Ha)<strong>

Somehow between the start of the song and now, Luna had gotten hold of a bottle of firewhisky, and was therefore absolutely piss drunk, as were the older half of the audience and the rest of the band. Somehow the music was still good, but the actions were worse. To the absolute horror, Luna was using him a a human pole. And dancing on said "pole".

**It's time to lose your mind**  
><strong>And let the crazy out<strong>  
><strong>(This place about to)<strong>  
><strong>Tonight we're taking names<strong>  
><strong>'Cause we don't mess around<strong>

Teachers were infuriated at this, but couldn't get past the literal wall of people dancing and making out on the floor. Though happy were many that their colleague was being tortured, they knew it was morally wrong to leave him without even a little effort. After a few seconds, however, they stopped, looked at each other, and silently decided to leave the students to regret this in the morning.

**This place about to blow**  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to<strong>

**(Blow)**

Nobody, not even Snape, could remember what happened from that time on. From some younger eye witnesses, things just got crazy and blurred out into nothingness, though the songs still went on.

**Go, go, go, go insane**  
><strong>Go insane<strong>  
><strong>Throw some glitter<strong>  
><strong>Make it rain on him<strong>  
><strong>Let me see them Hanes<strong>  
><strong>Let me, let me see them Hanes<strong>

**Go insane**  
><strong>Go insane<strong>  
><strong>Throw some glitter<strong>  
><strong>Make it rain on him<strong>  
><strong>Let me see them Hanes<strong>  
><strong>Let me, let me see them Hanes (C'mon)<strong>

**We are taking, over (Blow)**  
><strong>Get used to it, over (Blow)<strong>

**This place about to blow**  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow (Oh)<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow (Oh)<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to blow<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>  
><strong>This place about to<strong>  
><strong>Blow<strong>

At the ending of the song, nobody really knew what to do, so decided to get a radio out and play the WPS, Wizard Partying Station, and partied into the night. Snape included.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Bahaha notice the song anyone? xD<br>Sorry I had to use this. Just for funn.  
>(Song is Blow by Ke$ha)<br>I'l do an aftermath tomorrow morning cause I'm tired.. and yes, I'm aware it's inappropriate. DIDN'T I TELL YOU?**


End file.
